Trainees
by Eevee Tofu
Summary: Grell is assigned to train a new Reaper. Oh boy, this is going to be fun. NOT! Semi-crack. Pizza cutters never warrant a serious story.


**Edited 11-12-2010.** Due to an anonymous review I received, I decided I ought to say something rather important. First of all, fuck you, anonymous reviewer, for reviewing anonymously. I will eat your first-born child. Secondly, **to anyone who reads this, DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. THIS IS CALLED "CRACK" FOR A REASON.**

End of edit.

Hey guys! It's been a LONG time since I used an OC as a main character! I'm generally against OC's, but this was just such an amazing idea I had to write it.

THERE WILL BE NO OC x CANON ROMANCE IN THIS STORY.  
I got over that shit a long time ago.

This story is rated T for copious amounts of Grell. Sexy men require a rating. Oh, and Sebby's in this, too, so there's even more sexy points. Also, Laura makes a mess.

x - x - x - x - x

Grell Sutcliff's body wiggled with excitement as he stood in the office of William T. Spears, having been told he'd be doing a "very important job," as his superior had put it.

"So what sort of incredible task shall I be performing?~" he grinned, batting his lashes.

Will adjusted his glasses with his custom Death Scythe, his sour expression never faltering. "You will be training a new recruit today," he said simply. It was then that Grell noticed the other person in the room.

She was tall and thin, with blue-black hair that fell to her knees, tied neatly in a slightly off-centered ponytail. Her emerald eyes darted around nervously; a faint pink tint colored her fair cheeks when those eyes met Grell's. She smiled sheepishly, raising a hand in a meek wave of greeting, the other hand behind her back. A poofy, Gothic-Lolita style dress hugged her features, black satin with sapphire accents that complemented her hair. Buckled leather boots adorned her feet, looking as though they could be used to club someone to death.

Grell's expression faltered. Blue was _so_ not his color. It was so somber and sorrowful... Red was much more to his liking; bright and vivacious and energetic and sexy. Red screamed, "Hello world! The party has arrived!" whereas blue muttered, "Uh, yeah, I'm here."

The red-haired Shinigami could already tell this wasn't going to be a good day.

x - x - x

Grell leaned uninterestedly against a stone wall, leafing through a leather-bound book. The trainee, Laura, stood attentively, determined not to miss a scrap of useful information.

"Okay, our particular target today is a certain Mr. W," Grell informed her, still scanning the pages of the book. "Scheduled to die right at this very spot, in one hour and three minutes." He glanced at the woman. "You _do_ have your Scythe, yes?"

"O-oh!" Laura hurriedly fumbled in the folds of her skirt, extracting a circular blade with a wooden handle. She beamed triumphantly. Grell raised an eyebrow at the instrument, then looked down at his own bright red chainsaw with an expression of adoration.

Yeah, this was gonna be a _hell_ of a day. Er, night. Grell had begun to long for a plush bed to sleep in, when suddenly his Hottie Radar went off the charts. He spun round and saw, before his very eyes, the love of his life. Never mind that said object of affection was currently engaged in combat.

"Ahh, Sebas-chan!~" Grell crooned, doing a little twirl in his ecstasy. "Lovely night, isn't it?"

Sebastian Michaelis, the Phantomhive butler, shot a nasty glare in the Shinigami's direction. Grell swooned at the lovely glimmer of his crimson eyes in the moonlight.

"Oh, my love, let us dance in the romantic gaze of the moon herself!~" He sprang over to the demon's side, looking much like a flamboyant red antelope. In doing so, the broad side of his chainsaw smacked Sebastian's opponent upside the head, knocking him out cold. Grell spared him an amused look before fawning over the handsome butler.

Sebastian swiftly pushed him aside, kneeling beside the now fallen man. He reached into the man's breast pocket and extracted a small glittering object. "I do believe my young Master would like to have this back," he stated, placing the ring in a pocket, which he then fastened with a shiny black button.

Grell seemed to remember his job. He leapt to his feet, flipping through the book's pages. "Laura!" he barked. "This is the guy! Take care of him! And I," he chuckled, latching onto Sebastian's arm again, "will take care of _you_, you gorgeous man.~"

The demon sighed, realizing there was only one way to handle this situation. "Grell-san," he purred, gently pushing the reaper away from him. "Close your eyes." He placed a gloved finger over Grell's rouged lips. The Shinigami did as he was told, expecting a kiss.

However, upon opening his eyes, he only found his poor, clumsy trainee covered in blood and tangled in the Cinematic Records emerging from the corpse's pizza-cutter-inflicted wound.

"They don't pay me enough for this," the Shinigami lamented, slumping theatrically against the nearest wall.

x - x - x - x - x

Yay end! So how do you all like Laura? I adore her. She's a lot like Maylin (who is my favorite Kuro character EVAR!), clumsy and awkward and adorable. And she has a HUGE crush on Grell, but of course Grellie will never pay any attention to her, because that's just not fun. XD

Anyway, reviews? Please? I give you vegetable juice if you review! You _do_ like vegetable juice, don't you? You must try it right now! Gorgeous big juice. (LOL VOCALOID TRANSLATION FAILS ARE FUNNY)


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